You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops