My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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