can you pass the soap?

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops