Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

i wonder who made this website? a human

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

I'm Coming

What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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