What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops