how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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woman's rights

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops