Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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