What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Error 37.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops