If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops