What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Your face is hilarious.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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