how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Your Mom The End.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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