A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Tall asians

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops