Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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