Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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