every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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