What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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