Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

lets bomb africa

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops