how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops