What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Whats green? The color green.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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