What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

knock knock come in !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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