A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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