A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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