why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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