A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What colour are blackberries? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops