Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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this website is a bad joke

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops