A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops