an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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NEVER

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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