How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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