A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +14

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Click here to end the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops