How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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