What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Poop

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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