- Anti Joke

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he