I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

make me a sandwich! what kind?

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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