Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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