Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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