Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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