- Anti Joke

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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