What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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NEVER

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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