What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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