How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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meatspin.fr

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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