What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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No soup for you!

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Penis

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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knock knock

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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