Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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