What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +5

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops