Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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