What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

If the 49ers won the superbowl

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

Take part of what?

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...