how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is big and white? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops