Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops