Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops