John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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