What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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NEVER

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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