Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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how much fish could a chicken

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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