If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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