George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

I am a mime

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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