Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Good job, son.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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