How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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