An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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woman's rights

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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